I realized in my first post I didn't go into much detail on the things I did last year. After not enjoying my first semester at community college (Fall '09) I decided I was going to take a semester off. That was about three months after I was hired at Teazer World Tea Market. With the semester off I decided I wanted to work more and do things that I wanted to do.
In February '10 I went to Nashville with my dad. He was going for a retreat and I was able to spend a week with my best friend at her college. After being in a dorm for a week and seeing what the college life was the thought of Judson University came back into my mind. I didn't do much with that, other than thinking about the things I would be losing if I moved to Illinois for college (ex. friends, family, church, college group, job, etc.) So I kind of lost the thought and focused more on some of the other things I wanted to do.
In June my college group leader, Zack Darrah, talked to me about an opportunity to move into an apartment for an organization called Care Fresno with three other girls to run an after school program for kids grades K-6 in our neighborhood. At first it went in one ear and out the other. Three days later, I was moving into that apartment. I wasn't interested when he first told me about it because I was "comfortable" with where I was. But after thinking and praying about it I realized God didn't want me to be "comfortable". So I thought it over and took the chance of being out of my comfort zone to see what God would do with it. I can't imagine my summer without my roommates, the kids, and the program. At the end of the summer we were able to take the kids we had been working with all summer to summer camp. That was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever been a part of.
Towards the end of summer I started thinking about different options for what I was going to do next. At that time all I could see myself doing was working for Care Fresno and continue living in the apartment. About a week before school was starting up again I read an email from the administration at Judson. I contacted them and we were going to try to get me there for the Fall semester. A few things didn't match up and I wasn't able to go. This really challenged me and got me thinking about what I wanted to do and what God was calling me to do. At the end of August/beginning of September I quit my job, packed up my things, and moved to Columbus, Ohio. I lived with my grandma, Aunt Blythe Ann & Uncle Mark, Aunt Deneen & Uncle Neal, the two boys Lucas and Davis, my cousins Stephanie and Krista, and Josh, who was going to college in town and staying at the Lodge(what we've always called my Grandma and Grandpa's house). I moved with the thought that it was going to be the same place that it was when I left it. I proved myself wrong when I came to the realization that I wasn't the only one that grew up in the 11 years I had been gone. I was able to work two jobs. One at Kohl's and the other babysitting every Monday and Wednesday. I enjoyed both for the first few weeks then really started realizing how much I missed my old job and my family. Ever since I moved to California I've been bitter about calling it my "home". I've always said that Ohio is my home and it really is and will be. But moving back showed me that in Fresno is where all of my growing up happened. From hating junior high to high school dances to getting my license and all of the things that turn a child to a teenager and then to a young adult. I really didn't know how much I loved Fresno until I left.
 |
| The Lodge |
When I moved I planned on staying until December 8 and then in January I was going to be going to Judson University to major in Worship Arts. As the end of November rolled around I started to get really homesick and felt like God was calling me home. I talked to both of the people I worked for and they both gave me the ok to go early. My dad was able to book my flight two weeks earlier than the original. So November 23 I was on a plane back to Fresno. About a week later I was offered my job back at Teazer and happily took it. Judson was still a thought but I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave home.
It is now the end of January. I'm not in Illinois. I'm not taking classes at community college. What am I doing? I'm still figuring it out. I am, however, working full time and I am finally starting to get back into the swing of things. Sunday night I went to The Well and really felt like God was challenging me to not only step out of my comfort zone but also spend more time in His word each and every day. Every day this week I left for work a little earlier than normal and would have my own personal devotional time in my car. Its crazy how much my attitude has changed this week. I finally feel like my happy, real, God-loving self again. I pray before every shift that God will bring me opportunities to be His disciple. When you ask God to bring someone who needs Him into your life, He doesn't waste any time. I really have had a change of heart over this past week and it's definitely for the better. I am no longer going to sit around waiting for someone else to be God's disciple and show people His love when I have the chance to every day. So now that it's almost February I'm going to make sure that not a day goes by where I feel like I could have done or said something more.
*If you didn't notice there's a lot of "what I want" in this blog. I'm hoping that as the year continues it will turn into more of what He wants.
